By Katie Cline

Rating: 2 out of 5 Stars

Starring: Johnny Depp, Penelope Cruz, Geoffrey Rush, Ian McShane, Richard Griffiths, Sam Claflin

Storyline:

Captain Jack Sparrow (Depp) crosses paths with a woman from his past (Cruz), and he’s not sure if it’s love — or if she’s a ruthless con artist who’s using him to find the fabled Fountain of Youth. When she forces him aboard the Queen Anne’s Revenge, the ship of the formidable pirate Blackbeard (McShane), Jack finds himself on an unexpected adventure in which he doesn’t know who to fear more: Blackbeard or the woman from his past. (IMDb.com)

Review:

This is a charming movie if you’re a Pirates fan; a passable one if you are not and looking for something to do on a weeknight. Spoiler alert: the best part is the love story between Philip (Sam Claflin) & Syrena the mermaid-en (Astrid Berges-Frisbey). This held more interest for me as a developing plot than the sappy, spoilt Jack Sparrow saga. I wonder will this be carried over into PoC V & VI? Hopefully we will see tangential stories of note in the future. McShane is absolutely delightful in an otherwise heavy role (Edward Teach, aka Blackbeard the Pirate). He was an impressive choice for the ruthless villian, having well-honed his skill as a baddie. His incredible voice and presence add a distinct depth to an otherwise absurd movie. Thespian Rush does a marvelous reprisal of Captain Barbossa, albeit his accent seems to run the gamut from Aussie to Irishman. His acting mode, while on par with McShane’s, relies more on the plasticity of his features than sheer countenance. Depp is once again in an overdressed, overly made-up, effeminate, possibly perpetually drunk role. I have the impression that you can pull a lever on the Depp machine, and *splat* there is a Willy Wonka, a Jack Sparrow, a Mad Hatter … never deviating much from any of his recent roles and merely comical at best in all of them. I digress; PoC Stranger Tides is a cheerful, silly film with a lot of action – strangely all done by people who have no food or water anywhere in sight and always seem to be under the influence of some mind-altering substance, AND done in multiple layers of ragamuffin clothing, large boots, lots of hair, and while maintaining a grip on some sort on a big weapon. The special effects are quite good, I will admit. Mermaids with vampire teeth, however, were just a bit odd. Where there no other facial anomalies to borrow for these mavens of the sea? Ah, well, it’s Disney and wasn’t made for the intellectual movie-goer. It’s for kids, and considering that venue, it’ll do. Despite several historically related blunders and a couple of technical gaffes, it tells the continuing tale of a renegade pirate and his derring-do faithful liege. I recommend the matinee.

Goofs:

· Incorrectly regarded as goofs: Barbossa is a privateer for King George II who ruled from 1727-1760. Blackbeard who is also in this film died in 1718. However, when Jack confronts Blackbeard he says that he is rumored to be dead. It is mentioned that Blackbeard was beheaded and then swam back to and climbed aboard his ship, possibly suggesting that this movie takes place after his historically recorded death.

· Factual errors: Blackbeard’s Jolly Roger featured a devil-horned skeleton holding a cup and spearing a heart, not a flaming skull.

· Revealing mistakes: When Jack’s hands are tied and he tries to sip from the hollow peg leg, he can’t raise it very high and there is a sound like slurping. But Barbossa has already raised it much higher and taken a long drink. There should be nothing in the top inch to slurp.

· When Jack “shimmies” up the palm tree still tied in his ropes, you can see that they are already slipping off over his head well before he reaches the top; why didn’t he just slip out of them once he stood at the base of the tree?

· Factual errors: Barbossa works as a privateer for King George II, who ruled from 1727-1760. However, the flag flying from the Royal Navy vessel he captains is the Union Flag which was not adopted until 1801; when Ireland joined the Union of Great Britain.

A follow-up that fans of the first film probably could have done without, but which isn’t all bad

By Carl Lawrence

Rating: 3 out of 5 Stars

WARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS

Few sequels live up to, let alone surpass, the bar established by the original work they stem from, and sadly The Descent: Part 2 is no exception when it comes to bucking that trend. Only rarely are we fortunate enough to get a picture like The Dark Knight that really knocks our socks off, and I say that as someone who was never really a big Batman fan to begin with prior to the release of that obviously superior sequel to its less popular predecessor Batman Begins. Of course it’s not even fair to compare The Descent: Part 2 to The Dark Knight unless one is doing so strictly in the sense of both films being sequels to a prior original work. I’m usually skeptical about sequels as are most people for the obvious reason that most of the time they just don’t measure up to what spawned them. Directors don’t take the time; writers seem to have an attitude that they can’t top the original, and usually Hollywood only entertains the notion of producing one for the sake of making another quick buck, and with combined attitudes of that nature, it’s no wonder that we’re often left feeling disappointed. (Note however that this film was actually shot and produced in Britain by Celador Films, a foreign company.) And even when more money is pumped into a sequel in hopes of making it better, such as in the case of 28 Weeks Later, often it still doesn’t seem to work out.

That said, The Descent: Part 2 isn’t entirely awful, and the writers do make a notable attempt at giving the film an ending that feels mostly consistent with how the initial film ended, which I suppose is to their credit. If there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s when the first picture in a series ends off leaving us satisfied, only to have a cheap knock-off sequel come along and negate the outcome of that prior movie. (Think American Psycho 2 and Hostel 2 and you’ll know precisely what I’m talking about.)

The Descent: Part 2 picks up right where The Descent left off, which also isn’t at all unusual for a sequel. In fact, it’s pretty routine. In the first film, the way things left off in the Unrated Cut (the only version I’ve seen to date), I was left with the impression that Sarah was never getting out of the previously unexplored cavernous tunnels that claimed the lives of her friends—that she was stuck there permanently. I thought that was the meaning behind the imagery of her dead daughter handing her a birthday cake at the end. This was her new life—period, perhaps also as a consequence of betraying her friend Juno in hopes of saving herself. As the second movie opens, however, we see that she has made it out of there after all, with what looked like a dream ending in the first film actually being the reality of her situation instead. She’s left with no memory of what happened as a result of the horrific trauma she experienced in the caves, which is plausible given the circumstances. Prior to this break in the case, the authorities have found nothing while still in the midst of a two-day search. When the Sheriff gets word of Sarah’s recovery while at one of the locations being checked, he heads straight to the hospital along with his deputy. Juno’s father is a Senator, adding to the pressing nature of finding the women and solving the mystery of what happened to them. Interestingly enough, however, even after two days of nonstop searching, including helicopter flyovers, the authorities never manage to find the cars that were left at the entry to the cave system seen in the first film. Instead they’re drawn to a long abandoned mining facility, believing this to be the next logical place for them to look.

It defies reason that this small team comprised of the Sheriff, his deputy, a few professional cave dwellers, and finally Sarah, who is fetched from the hospital the very same day after being given a sedative by her doctor, would not want more manpower before descending into the mining shaft with no real backup. It’s also difficult to believe that Sarah would allow herself to be taken down there again without any protest despite the sedative she was given earlier and her memory still being blocked. One would think that even on a subconscious level she would still be aware of the danger involved, and once down there, naturally, her memory begins to return. The writing leading up to this point really isn’t that great, as it all smacks of a cheesy, hackneyed setup just to get the characters, and Sarah especially, down into the underground cavernous maze again for more carnage and mayhem to ensue. What follows is what one would expect: a bloody, disgusting mess. I think the first film did a much better job of leading the audience there however, as it was more carefully scripted, paced, and directed, with a seemingly more generous budget to boot to make it all worthwhile in the end. The overall production values just seem to be lacking here in contrast unfortunately, although if there’s one thing this film does have going for it at least, it’s a climax that manages to put viewers in touch with the tense and frenzied creepiness of the original, even if only for a short while. It also makes it look as though there was actually a way out of the caverns all along however, which seemed like a virtual impossibility in the first movie. I question that decision because it leaves the creatures with a way out of their habitat and into our world, and seemingly negates that aspect of the claustrophobic mystique that really served the original film so well. But it’s worth renting –in spite of its drawbacks, there’s still some fun to be had in the watching of it nonetheless. So grab some popcorn and enjoy it on the basis of what it does stand to offer.

Buy the First and Second Movies from Amazon.com: